my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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