she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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