I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
