That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
