38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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