i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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