I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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