I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
