wrigley field is MILF paradise
I CAN MOONWALK!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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