I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
