is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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