Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
