We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
