It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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