She is in my trunk
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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