There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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