"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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