Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
