her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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