I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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