you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
