next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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