I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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