i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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