Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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