I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
