where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
