If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm at about main and main street
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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