Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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