so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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