I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
