My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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