16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
