i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk is a universal language darling
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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