Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
