the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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