Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
