I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's never too late to be topless.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
