No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
