remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
