it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
