The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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