we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
