Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She bit a glass in half.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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