every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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