i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
