maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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