MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
