# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
