I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
