Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
